Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
