Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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