Dual....:-)
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize