I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
