you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
