omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
