Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
