her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
