Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
