I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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