Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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