i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
