she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
