my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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