hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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