Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
