# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
