i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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