FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
