What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
