And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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