your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
