The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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