There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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