Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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