Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
