For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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