Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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