I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
