i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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