her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
