Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
