i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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