Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
