i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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