and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
