Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
