oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think my vagina is haunted
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
