is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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