how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
