he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
