i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
