Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
