So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
