put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
