i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Randomize
