why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
