I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
