Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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