you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
