He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
