Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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